Recently, I’ve been in a slump. This is a feeling of being unhappy, tired, and exhausted from trying so hard. Are these the fruitful results that I have been working so hard for? How long can I continue living this way? Then, I realize that I don’t have as much control over my life as I believe I do. That makes me mad. It’s a pain! It is a shame that I can trust myself more than anyone to produce results. Yet, I must trust and depend on others to succeed. It’s no wonder that I feel unhappy and exhausted all the while. I run around believing I can control life. All the while, life is laughing at me. Cool.
I find that I don’t always have the control I want. For example, this morning I am in the shower, prepping for the day. Actually, I was just trying to get up after two cups of coffee. The fire alarms begin blaring. WTF! So naturally I wrap a towel around my body, take off my shoes and grab my cat (she is so lucky, I love her so much), my keys and phone. Then I run out the door with my cat snake, a slithering cat snake, and pull my towel off. As I descend three flights of stairs, my ears ring and alarms blare. I then discover that maintenance had triggered the alarm due to a pipe burst in an apartment far from me. First, I wanted to shout at the maintenance officer. After all, who the hell would set off a fire alarm for a burst pipe? My second instinct was to throw Millie, my cat, and myself into the car. One, I’m in a towel and two, Millie will claw me to death. The third was to notify my clients that I might need to reschedule. Great. This is a great way to start Monday mornings post Daylight Savings Time.
This delightful morning taught me two things. I can spend my whole life striving for perfection and exhausting myself trying to be in control. But there are some things that I cannot prepare for. That is something I need to be able to manage better. My goal is to be more present and allow life to unfold. Although it is scary to give up control, in reality I don’t have any. The second was to remind myself to be grateful. My cat and I were both safe and our sessions went well. This was a reminder that we needed. It is easy to get caught up in our problems and worry that we forget what really matters.
Although I do not wish for your morning to start like mine, I hope that you were able, if it did, to move on, be grateful, and remember the power of being present.
